Look at these, my childbearing hips… *
Hate all you want, but I am loving this pregnancy thing.
Never have I felt so good. Even when I am feeling sick, I seem to be wearing a smile. I know the queasiness or uncomfortable feelings are temporary. I’m enjoying my body for the first time in my life, weird changes or no. Every time I feel this tiny person flip around inside me I smile. I’m blown away by the process. I’m flabbergasted that my body knows how to do this, and I don’t have to do much to help it. It’s completely amazing.
Although I have nothing to compare it to, I have to think that I have had a really easy pregnancy. For that, I am totally grateful. I’ve been sick a little, tired a lot, and there have been nights where I have felt so bloated that I could swear my belly is going to pull a scene from “Alien”. For the most part, though, I’m excited by my shifting body and completely fascinated by the day-to-day.
My husband has been completely supportive and has indulged me by taking the early shift (and the late one too, quite often) with the animals, letting me sleep and granting me little kindnesses like dinners out and such. Weekly, I’m spoiled by my acupuncturist who also is crazy good with body work (and thankfully is a good, old friend). It has made a huge difference, knowing I could lay down in that room and trust my body to someone who has a gift for healing.
I actually feel like my body was made to be pregnant. Maybe for birthing, too. It makes me think I can DO this. My plan is to go natural, and not for a minute have I thought, given the choice, that I would do anything different. So far, no amount of horror stories have scared me out of this. I’m not sure they could. Again, it’s that whole temporary thing. The pain, when it comes, will be finite. I can deal with that. Mind you, I know that nothing ever goes according to plan, but I am calm when I think of it, as if I could already know somehow that everything would be okay. Way to tempt fate, I know, but it’s a comforting feeling.
Something that really kills me is the difference in my self-esteem. I LOVE my body like this. I love dressing myself every day. I don’t think I have ever been so comfortable in my own skin. It’s really, really bizarre. I was sure I would be crazy sick and would have a hell of a time finding confidence in my thickening waistline and my bloated boobs. The reality is that I now have a real-and-true rack, and for the first time in my life I don’t have to worry about my gut. Nuts. LOVING IT.
I still have yet to get the nesting bug. I haven’t started the process of moving my things out of our third bedroom, aka The Closet, which will soon be the baby’s room. I bought my first piece of baby clothing last week: a black sleeper with flash-style writing that spells out “Mom”.
Y’all. I’m going to be a Mom. How wild is that?
* stolen from “Sheela Na Gig” by the beautiful and talented Ms. Polly Jean Harvey